I walked past a news agents t'other day (as is my right as a citizen) and a terrible, nay, alarming spectacle crossed my field of vision. Was it the little rat-like dog being actively encouraged by its owner to micturate and defecate against a lamppost? Well maybe a little, but a much darker and altogether more sickening image greeted me.

It was a bill board advertising the Argus with the header “Bendy buses coming to Brighton” Here's a warning to the good folk of Brighton regarding the proposed bendy buses; Don't do it!

Ever. No, no and thrice no.

Swansea, the city that bore me, has recently (finally) got the bendy buses running after more than two years of roadworks, disruption and much squandering of the public purse; more than £10 million in road re-shaping, congestion causing one way systems, new traffic lights and actually buying the blighters in the first instance.

The overwhelming consensus of the public is one veering between moribund apathy and utter distrust (admittedly both common emotions in Wales when not discussing the merits of another pint).

Here are the reasons that these vessels of purest evil should never be let loose on the roads of Brighton, Swansea or any other city: 1) The cost of the purchase of the buses is enormous, and repair equally so.

2) The buses take corners like tractors skidding on ice and have a breaking distance equivalent to that of an Atlantic oil tanker.

3) The buses need three staff; driver, middle door conductor and rear door conductor else the London 'free bus' effect kicks in, and no-one up front wants to pay when the chaps in the back just sneak on-board for the price of fresh air.

4) The buses are incredibly dangerous. Try overtaking one in a car. During a test run in Swansea one of the bendy nightmares crashed into a Citroen C2. Even worse, try to get past one on the wrong side of the road by bicycle and see how long you last.

5) The buses can't pull over into bus stops easily, the council will have to fork out a great deal of money to narrow the roads to accommodate alighting. I'll wager they haven't considered this yet.

6) New traffic lights will be needed at junctions because of the time it takes all 61 feet of bendyness to accelerate and make it to the other side. Normal traffic systems don't accommodate this. Think back to a time when you have seen a juggernaut or other large vehicle negotiating a cross junction and you will see what I mean.

7) Many cities have already rejected the bendy bus. What odds that the buses destined for Brighton have already seen service and been rejected elsewhere?

8) Trams are greener, safer and much more pleasant.

If the #25 bus route needs greater term time capacity then why not take the simpler, cheaper option and run more buses during peak seasons/times? The big bendy buses will spend half the year running half empty and causing undue traffic hell for motorists and cyclists alike; not to mention pedestrians walking small rat-like dogs to their favoured street-side toilets.

Denizens of Brighton and Hove heed my cry!; unite against this tyranny before it is too late. You have the power people.

Viva la revolution.