When it comes to cutting comments, Edward Fleet is razor-sharp. He once asked a girl: "If I throw a stick, will you leave?"

Edward, a humanities student at Brighton University, may not be Mr Popular in the dating stakes but his barbed comments have now earned him notoriety.

He has been crowned prince of put-downs in a national competition, beating 5,000 other cutting comics to win the title of Smirnoff Ice Pick of the Wits 2001.

Ed, 22, of Brangwyn Drive, Brighton, was nominated by his best friend Paul Wratten, a media studies student at Brighton Technical College.

He said: "Paul heard me say the stick comment to a girl in the pub earlier this year and fell about. He entered me for the competition and sent in other comments he'd heard me come out with.

"I didn't know anything about it until he rang to say we'd won it."

Ed, who rates Frank Skinner and Emo Philips as among the funniest men around, received his award - an ice pick - from model Nell McAndrew. He also receives a fridge full of vodka.

"I'm a bit embarrassed because it's Paul who has done all the work. I'm not even all that keen on Smirnoff. However, getting Nell McAndrew for Christmas was pretty cool."

Amazingly, Ed has remained friends with the girl he made the "stick" put-down to.

He said: "It was said as a micky-take and I think even she laughed. And I would still like to go out with people - I'm not that bad!"

There were also celebrity winners in the competition.

Nick Hancock, the abrasive frontman for the sporting quiz They Think It's All Over, triumphed in king of the one-liners.

Among his witticisms were:

"They've all written books except Tony Adams, who has never even read a book. Or even coloured one in."

Talking about a football fan who was unable to take his father's ashes into a match: "It comes to something when you can't take a bottle of Pop to the game."

Or: "I don't see the point in robbing Ron Atkinson's house while he's out - he wears all his valuables."

On Peter Beardsley: "He's the only player who, when he appears on TV, Daleks hide behind the sofa."

Other category winners were:

Put Down of the Year:

Brian Dowling from Big Brother: Narinder: "I wonder which celebrity guy is watching now and thinking 'Ooh, I'd love to s*** that Narinder'?" Brian: "Err...Stevie Wonder?"

Improvisation of the Year:

William Hague: "Grass doesn't grow on a busy street."

Political Retort of the Year:

John Prescott, when goaded by an egg-thrower: Thwack.

Ice Pick for Irony:

David Blunkett: "I'm still reeling from the news that the BBC have taken Kabul."

Brilliantly Evasive Answer of the Year:

Jeremy Paxman, when asked to name the president of Tajikistan: "Why on earth would you think that would be useful information?"

Edward's top five put-downs:

"I refuse to enter a battle of wits with you - it's against my morals to attack an unarmed person."

"Every person has the right to be ugly - but you're abusing the privilege."

"If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive."

"If I throw a stick, will you leave?"

"I'm not being rude, you're just insignificant."

Other contenders' efforts included:

"He was such an ugly kid that when he played in the sandpit the cat kept trying to cover him up."

"If originality was oxygen you would have suffocated by now."

"I'd like to help you out - which way did you come in?"

"I heard you had a thought but it died of loneliness."