While taking my fruit and veg through the check-out of Hailsham Co-op, the girl asked me: "Are these conference pears?"

"I don't know," I replied, without thinking. "Let me see if they are talking." I held the open bag of pears to my ear, smiled and handed them back. "No, don't think so, I can't hear anything."

Thank goodness she had a sense of humour and rewarded me by serving the next customer with a smile on her face.

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