With a visit from the Queen pending, may I, on behalf of the residents of Hollingdean, ask that she be requested to visit our estate.
It is wonderfully decorated with masses of all sorts of litter. In the gutter we have some gold tinsel left over from Christmas.
The remains of two sky rockets were there from last Bonfire Night but, unfortunately, were washed away by the last heavy rain.
However, they are made up for by the dog excrement, graffiti and wanton damage to bus shelters, shop windows and the like. Grass verges have been reduced to a muddy quagmire by parking motorists.
Perhaps in honour of the brain-dead morons responsible for the condition of this estate and the rest of Brighton and Hove, Her Majesty could be persuaded to change the name to something more fitting.
Cesspit City trips off the tongue and would look great on Sita's alleged cleaning vehicles.
I'm sure any one of our councillors would do to sit as a highly-paid, unwanted elected mayor for such a well-named city.
We need "zero tolerance". We could, as a small kindness to the brain-dead and a huge kindness to the rest of us, put them out of their misery.
-R A B, Hollingdean, Brighton
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