Once upon a time, in a green and happy land, the people who made the fuel drive the people's little motor cars were banished to behind high wire mesh fences and soon the fuel ran out completely and the people were very sad.

But others, the Nerd people, who were cyclists and really came from

another planet, were overjoyed for now they could swerve and weave their cycles unrestricted on road, pavement and pathway, they were masters of the realm.

The Lord High Chancellor of the Exchequer of that land, who was a secret Nerd, said: "Behold, this is good, there is no more pollution or congestion and millions of our subjects are out there on their push bikes." And he promptly imposed a £1,000 push bike licence tax on each and every one of them and they then all lived miserably ever after.

-Robert Byrne, Wilbury Avenue, Hove