In the Twenties, my grandmother spent part of her life with us in Wales and part with her sister-in-law, Lillian Poggi, in the Liverpool area. When she was there we used to visit her.

Aunt Lillie appeared to be a very severe person, all the more so as she always dressed in a full-length black dress with a Victorian-style black band around her throat. I became almost frightened of her and her complete lack of contact with me only added to the problem.

This was the memory which remained with me until after her death, when I heard a completely different side of Aunt Lillie's life from one of her grandchildren.

Aunt Lillie had three daughters and then came the son and heir, Rupert. He grew up to be a fine young man, adored by all.

Then, in 1914, war was declared. Rupert enlisted in the London Regiment of The Royal Fusiliers and went to France. He must have served with distinction for he was promoted to the rank of Corporal but was shot dead by a German sniper on April 2, 1918.

In about 1960, my daughter and family were driving to the South of France when they entered the Arras area and decided to visit the military cemetery. I do not know how many thousand names are inscribed on the wall but, amazing as it may seem, the very first name she saw was Rupert's.

Later, I heard more about Aunt Lillie and her attitude towards me. She was utterly devastated at Rupert's death and went into deep mourning as soon as she heard the news, remaining so until she died.

Looking back, I think that whenever she saw me, she was overcome with thoughts of Rupert, killed in the prime of his life at the tender age of 20. Maybe she longed to give me a hug but couldn't bring herself to do so.

On Remembrance Day we pay homage and tribute to those who gave their lives but I think we should also spare a thought for those left behind and Aunt Lillie was just one of the thousands in that position.

PS Eight children from Rottingdean, aged between eight and 15, went on a local tour to "trick or treat" and at the end of the event they had more than £9. They discussed this among themselves and, without any adult interference, decided to donate the cash to the Poppy Fund. They deserve our thanks and congratulations.

Paul Richardson,

-Rottingdean