Things that my children have learned:

Cats don't like to have their faces washed.

Don't sneeze when you are having your hair cut.

The best place to be when you are sad is on Nana's lap.

When Mum is angry with Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

When your sister hits you, don't hit back. They always catch the second person.

Things that I truly believe:

Wrinkles dont hurt like the moisturiser adverts make me think they would.

Raising children (especially teenagers) is as easy as nailing jelly to a tree.

Families are like fudge. Mostly sweet with the odd nut thrown in.

Laughing is the only exercise I need. It's like jogging on the inside.

And, most importantly, Growing old is unavoidable. Growing up is optional.

-Mrs Paula Woolven, Telscombe Cliffs