A number of fascinating things about football supporters were revealed to me a few days ago.

Apparently, the whole sorry bunch of us are addicted to some very dubious practices which include an uncontrolled need to gamble, an equally uncontrolled need to eat every pie that crosses our path and a crime so terrible that I can hardly bring myself to mention it in polite society.

On second thoughts, if you are reading this you probably already qualify as "impolite" society, according to this new definition of a football fan, so I won't mince words. We are guilty of "tribal shouting".

Because all this tribalism will make us very anti-social neighbours at Falmer although not, in this instance, to the village residents but to the students at the universities of Brighton and Sussex. Or so we were assured when the public inquiry resumed last week and the opposition began raising questions.

The affected academicals are, presumably, those hundreds of students who opted to go to university in Brighton because it is so quiet and peaceful, thus allowing them to carry on their academic studies and quiet "bookish" enjoyment far from the madding crowds.

That there might be students who chose Brighton because of its reputation as a lively, cosmopolitan city, second only to London in terms of nightlife, diversity and rakish seaside pleasures was a novel idea to the "duckponder" who raised her earnest concerns in this respect. As was the idea that any of them might be football supporters!

I know it is easy to poke fun at the opposition and nobody should undermine their ability to scupper the stadium plans but some of the little linguistic gems that have slipped off their tongues at Hove Town Hall bring more than a touch of Ealing Comedy to the proceedings.

And the "tribal shouting" incident was another classic of its type owing much to the style of Dame Margaret Rutherford and Hattie Jacques. It was a blast from a 1950s past and although it caused such hilarity in the public gallery, we weren't tempted to shout anything "tribal" in response to this bizarre slur to our collective reputations! I can hardly wait for them to cross-examine on noise issues because I can already picture Attila and Paul Samrah's choice of matchday music being described as "an awful hullabaloo played by popular beat combos"!

Talking of matchday music, it was marvellous to hear Atilla's classic anti-Palace ditty, "The Donkey Derby" played at Withdean before the Nottingham Forest game. In a move designed to pump up the volume prior to our long awaited home fixture next week, the song "celebrates" Crystal Palace's first (and only) FA Cup final visit to Wembley in 1990, losing 1-0 to Manchester United.

A satisfying result indeed, although perhaps not quite as satisfying as the 9-0 thrashing that Liverpool gave Palace the previous September which has also been commemorated by Attila in his superb "N-N-N-NINE NIL" poem which shows no mercy in recalling those n-n-n-ninety minutes of humiliation.

Crystal Palace fans are still gloating about our defeat at Selhurst earlier this season and obviously think it is the height of wit and sophistication to have a daily countdown to the return match on their message board and 150 days will have elapsed when we meet again. But I'm tolerant of the simple pleasure it provides the Selhurst folk because they'll no doubt have to change their gloating tune on the 151st day when it'll all be over bar the shouting. Although this time, they can bet on hearing some tribal shouting!

Roz South edits Brighton Rockz fanzine. Email: roz@southspark.co.uk