All this fuss and discord over a war with Iraq when there is a simple solution. We should declare war on and invade France.

Not only would this be a just retribution for when they hosted World Cup '98 and kept most of the tickets to themselves and then sold them on to the rest of us at grossly inflated black-market prices but, also, France is nearer.

There is a regular ferry service and we could get our duty-frees on the way back.

We could also lift the Eiffel Tower and erect it in place of that awful West Pier. I am amazed this has not been thought of before.

-R Byrne, Wilbury Avenue, Hove