Guests to my house are shown a notice in the hall.

"To guests: I like my house very warm. If you are too hot, do not open the window, take your clothes off. Beware the home-made wine. Do not drink more than one if you are driving. Do not drink more than two if you are walking. Do not drink more than three unless you want to stay the night."

-Doug Streeter, Saltdean Drive, Brighton