I have to start this week by congratulating the new record breaking members of our squad.

Apparently Norris McWhirter has just verified our claim that the Brighton substitutes bench at Bristol City last Saturday was the ugliest ever in football history.

Leading the way was captain Paul 'Bumchin' Rogers, the man with the softest hair in soccer (at his age surely it's a hairpiece).

Then we had Geoff 'massive napper' Pitcher. Did you know the little man played the part of Mini-Me in the latest Austin Powers movie and also doubled as Tattoo in Fantasy Island?

The German porn star also made an appearance. The gaffer called him Dick this week, a bit closer than Kirk. The next record-breaker was Robbie 'Anteater' Pethick, who received some stick from the City fans because of his previous links with Bristol Rovers, but it was water off his nose, sorry back.

And of course there was Crossa, a broken-nosed, stitched-up central defender in the classic mould. And before the words kettle, pot and black spring to anyone's mind, I realise that I should be honorary captain of the ugly bench!

It was another very good day all-round for Brighton at Bristol. The team played well, we won and the support was, yet again, magnificent.

Bobby Z scored another wonder goal after great work by the Welsh Wizard. Bobby then felt he'd done enough work for the day and sat out the last half-hour.

He was probably a bit tired after having to do an interview for Football Focus. The lads were expecting him to pass a few accolades their way but the interview was very much along the lines of "that's enough about me, lets talk about me!"

Bobby also took a few days off at the start of this week because he had strained an eyelash so it looks like he's going to forget training from now on and just play in the games.

On the lovely playing surface at Ashton Gate the battle was won very early. Jones limped out of the action with a pulled hamstring and then Tony Thorpe ran into a brick wall called Danny Cullip.

Thorpey started to give Danny some verbal but DC told him to "come over here and repeat that". Next thing I knew Thorpey was over my side of the pitch and never ventured near Danny for the rest of the match.

I thought we gave a very disciplined, controlled performance. The gaffer made a couple of small tactical alterations to help combat their style of play and it worked a treat.

We were able to keep possession for long periods and also nullify their attacking threat to give the former Dutch SAS chef a relatively quiet afternoon.

The chairman was so delighted with the day's events that he bought the lads a drink afterwards (don't get carried away, it was only a half!). Some of the local media were getting a bit excited with talk of the p-word in the after-match interviews.

The lads have no such thoughts. There are still 87 points to play for and we have not yet reached the magic 50 point mark required to stay up. The higher you build yourself up, the harder the fall.

Quote of the day was from Pingu Pitcher as we headed back home along the M4. "Have we passed Birmingham yet?" he asked Watto. His hopeless sense of direction must be the reason why he never drives in to work.

Dodge also broke another record this week when he was delighted to finally make his Avon Insurance Combination debut for the reserves at the ripe old age of 43, just beating Stanley Matthews' record.

The last time he played for a reserve side there was only one substitute allowed!