Egg appears to be number one in the most frequently used word charts this week.

Not wishing to be left out of latest trends in speech, train conductors and station staff have made sure they get a few eggs into their announcements.

Was on way to work, on one of the days in which egg featured in every headline of every commuters paper, with accompanying pictures of the man who has done more to undo the damage done to egg industry by Edwina than even Delia or Nigella, when noticed story about a former colleague who was herself victim of egg missile - albeit an unintended one.

Said colleague had many, many years ago attended Press conference hosted by Sir David Steel.

She was listening attentively, and taking notes on his plans for the future of the health service, when the principal ingredient of an omelette was lobbed in the good knight's direction.

Unfortunately the missile, which was not of the hard boiled variety, missed intended target and hit colleague on cream jacketed chest, leaving her with hefty dry cleaning bill and severe bruising, which apparently lasted for weeks.

I pointed out feature to friend Sarah, who was sitting next to me reading a copy of Poultry News (she keeps two chickens in her tiny back yard and enjoys an abundance of fresh things to go to work on/steady supply of ammunition for hurling at cabinet ministers) and expressed surprise at extent of alleged bruising.

Sarah, who tends to have a logical explanation for every situation, was not surprised but able to explain that, despite their soft interiors, the hardness of the eggs shell, combined with the density of the yolk and white, multiplied by the force of the throw and the velocity its path, assisted by wind blowing in the direction of intended target, would produce a hit equal to that of having a fairly sizeable block of concrete thrown at you.

Moreover, she said, in some countries people have been known to have been egged to death.

Sarah knows this not just from her regular reading of Poultry News but also from having herself been pelted with eggs.

The situation arouse not because she unintentionally put herself in the firing line of Sir David Steel, David Owen or any other member of the SDP but while she was having an argument with her mother.

"Your mother?" I queried, knowing that Sarah is a much loved only child with a pretty good relationship with both parents.

"Yes, she was loading up the fridge at the time and we were disagreeing about something or other when she started throwing eggs at me."

Eggs, note - not just one egg, which in many a social worker's book would probably amount to extreme cruelty on its own, but eggs.

"Well, she had them all lined up in the egg tray," explained Sarah, who like colleague was left with half a dozen severe bruises which lasted for several weeks, not to mention a little emotional scarring.

At this point in the conversation, the train shuddered to a halt in the middle of a blossoming buddleia bush and remained there for the next 20 minutes.

"I am sorry for the delay to your service," said the guard. "I am waiting to find out the reason for the stoppage and the estimated time for re-departure.

"In the meantime, I would ask you to be patient, admire the view and desist from throwing eggs at any of the staff you may feel are to blame for the delay to your journey. Thank-you...."