an animal's

EVERY waking minute 31-year-old Rachel is battling to lift her arms, walk round her home and overcome excruciating pain.

The only way she can relieve the symptoms of crippling rheumatoid arthritis is by taking a cocktail of painkillers and anti-inflammatory drugs.

But these drugs have probably been tested on animals, a practice which extremist animal rights activists have vowed to stop, with violence if necessary.

Rachel is so angered by the "so-called do-gooders" of society who attack research laboratories and persecute anyone who crosses them that she has decided to speak out.

But the violence which characterises their campaign has left her too scared to reveal her full identity for fear of putting herself and her family in danger.

Rachel insists she would be the first person to jump to the defence of any animal which is being cruelly or wrongly treated and would like to see a world free of animal testing.

But she argues: "I also live in the real world where things are not perfect.

"While I am unsure whether my medication has been tested on animals or not, to be honest I don't care as I value my own life and those of others above any animal.

"What gives the activists the right to judge people?

"They think those who are involved in research are cruel but perhaps they should look more closely at their own record of cruelty to people, who in the long run are doing more for society's advancement than they will ever be remembered for.

"All I will remember about animal rights activists is they are violent, rude and dangerous people."

Until her diagnosis, Rachel had dreamt of a career working with horses and had just secured her first job working in a yard.

But her "dream come true" was shattered when she started to experience excruciating aches and pains earlier this year.

She said: "I got up one morning and couldn't move my arms above a certain level. Then it came and went until I had a riding accident. Two weeks later, I started getting the aches and pains again until my left hand was in so much pain I couldn't touch it."

She visited doctors, consultants and hospitals in a bid to find out what was causing the crippling pains.

But when the final diagnosis came, Rachel was devastated.

She said: "I just burst into tears. I just said to the doctor 'I can't believe this, I really can't believe you are telling me this - it just can't happen to me'.

"You take your life for granted - you are just living and you never think anything is going to harm you or touch you until you are 80. I still haven't come to terms with it now."

At first Rachel tried to "cure" her disease the natural way with diet, vitamins and supplements.

However, in the past few months as the arthritis took hold of her body and she had to be carried around her home by her partner, Rachel started to take painkilling and anti-inflammatory drugs.

She explained: "It's a very strong drug which is used for cancer patients in large doses and it can have side effects on your kidneys and liver but it seems to be helping.

"The drug acts to suppress the immune system because in rheumatoid arthritis, the immune system malfunctions and instead of protecting the body, it attacks it."

Rachel added: "The drugs are a lifeline. As much as I don't want to go on them, I have to weigh up the quality of life and what I want to do.

"I would still take them if they were tested on animals because of how much it has helped me so far."

It is for this reason Rachel has decided to speak out in support of the people who need the drugs to make their lives worth living.

She said: "People forget there are three of us in this triangle - the people who are involved in the experiments, the people who don't want it to happen for the animals and there is the forgotten group that in some way or another needs medication to get them through every single day.

"I wake up every morning wondering how I am going to feel today, which part of me can move and which part can't.

"I sit on the edge of the bed scared to move because I don't know whether I can or how much it is going to hurt.

"While they take their lives for granted and jump out of bed each morning and wonder who they are going to be horrible to, they should spare a thought for people like me whose only thought is how to get through the day.

"Life just isn't black and white. They are fighting for what they want to fight for and I have to fight to overcome my illness every morning.

"As hard as it sounds, even if it has been tested on a rabbit or whatever, I am afraid my life is more important and my quality of life is certainly more important."

But Rachel stresses she is opposed to cosmetics being tested on animals as it serves vanity not health.

While Rachel believes the activists have the same right as the next person to hold and voice their beliefs, she insists it is wrong for them to force their ideals upon others through violence and bullying.

She said: "They are taking away people's rights to express how they feel because of the way they go about their campaign.

"Why don't they lobby in a correct manner? Why does it take people being kidnapped and hurt and why does it take violence to get their point of view across?"

Rachel says if alternative means of testing drugs are found, then she would be delighted. But in the meantime, she will continue to take whatever drugs are necessary to improve her condition.

Her final message to the animal rights activists is: "While you go around harassing companies linked with animal testing, disrupting local residents' lives, wasting police time and causing havoc in a local shopping centre on a busy Saturday, spare a thought for us disease-ridden people.

"We have to fight each and every single day just to carry out the everyday chores which most people take for granted.

"I am a young person and I have lots to do and lots of things I want to do. I haven't given up on my life and I am not going to."

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.