Date Movie

If you foolishly take Aaron Seltzers spoof romantic comedy at its word and drag along a potential boyfriend or girlfriend to Date Movie, the relationship will be over before it has begun.

This crude and lewd tale of thwarted love and raging hormones is a tiresome, humourless affair which will put you in the mood for sleep rather than amour.

Co-writers Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, two of the six writers of Scary Movie and Spy Hard (which just about says it all), make their task that much harder by spoofing comedies such as Meet The Parents, Meet The Fockers and My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Not only do the co-writers have to mine laughs, they have to be different laughs from the original films.

Sad to say, apart from a couple of decent visual gags, Date Movie is found wanting.

Following the lead of Big Mommas House 2, the film spends the first ten minutes poking relentless fun at overweight people, including a dance sequence to Keliss Milkshake.

Once the heroine has slimmed down, transformed from ugly duckling into dysfunctional swan, the freewheeling narrative gallivants through Bridget Joness Diary, The Wedding Planner and My Best Friends Wedding, with brief nods to Pretty Woman and Notting Hill.

The sight of a family cat making a noisy visit to the toilet warrants a smile. But, the rest of the film deserves to be flushed down the U-bend.