Well, I've heard it all now! The great British television audience has voted for an entry to the European Song Competition which is totally devoid of music - performed in an unknown language by someone with a name reminiscent of a washing powder, it seems to consist of the reciting of verse.
Gone are the days when our pop stars were proud to present and sometimes succeed with our entry.
I doubt James Blunt or Robbie Williams would have anything to do with it now. Of one thing we can be sure this year: Our entry will achieve nil point.
-Peter Bailey, Brighton
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