Listen carefully, he will say zis only once . . . This British airman cunningly disguised as a French stereotype is not looking for the Madonna with the big boobies - just better TV reception.

Ernie Barnes, from Lancing, was so fed up with his poor digital TV signal he pointed his 30-year-old analogue aerial towards France and – ooh, la, la - got a perfect picture.

The 82-year-old said: “How is it that I can get a better picture from more than 100 miles than I can from just down the road?

“I don’t speak French so I can’t understand much of what is going on, but that’s no worse than watching British TV.”