Mark Steel: Back In Town Brighton Dome Corn Exchange, in Church Street, on Saturday, October 11, 7.30pm, £15.

Tell us about your new show: “The show is about towns, especially the one I’m in. So for Brighton I expect it will include a fascinatingly collapsing pier, bin strikes, the pointless table tennis table on the beach, Nick Cave, Gus Poyet, and no one would think it odd if someone was doing tai-chi while tightrope walking from the Town Hall to the Angel Statue.”

What is the funniest thing you’ve ever seen or heard?

“The funniest thing I heard this week was from a woman sat behind me on a train. She said ‘His behaviour was terrible, but at least he came round last night and offered me a tarantula, so that was an olive branch.’ Then she got off.”

What would you be doing if you weren’t a comic?

“My favourite job before becoming a comic was being a milkman. I wouldn’t mind having another go at that. Last time I used to regularly miss out whole roads, got the dairy sued by delivering bread a month old, and wrote off the milk float by landing it in a river.”

What makes your blood boil?

“Unnecessary wars, drivers who don’t wave thanks when you’ve backed up to let them past, televisions that are impossible to turn on without a three-year course in which buttons to press, and being given out at cricket just because the stumps have been knocked over.”

If you could bring back any extinct thing, what would it be?

“As this is for Green Brighton, I fancy a fleet of pterodactyls to carry people round the city, as a sustainable and carbon-free transport policy.”