Rail bosses have dismissed a spoof employee newsletter that mocks management, company policy and treatment of staff as poor taste.

Southern Rail’s official employee newsletter, Southern Life, has been reproduced under the name Own Goal.

The provocative re-make jibes at Southern Rail’s decision to cut staff, close stations and “poor treatment of employees.”

Believed to be written by a Southern Rail employee or ex-employee, the front page of the newsletter includes a horoscope section which reads: “2014 will be a stressful time, particularly for those in the Southern hemisphere.

“Work hours will increase, you will feel constantly undervalued and may even find your occupation taken over by machines and Indian call centres.

“Later in the year you will be looking at a new job with better opportunities and life fulfilment from another company that will value you and the work you undertake.”

Another section features a picture of an elderly lady with a cigarette in her mouth, with the caption: “My name is Lil and I was a Southern cleaner helping to keep trains spick and span.“Now I have been pushed out and have to work zero hours at Poundland where they treat me better than Southern. I’m 87.”

A competition offers readers the chance to win a “signed photograph of the MD at Southern (unframed) and a Southern pencil.”

Another fictional employee called Alexandrou, pictured wearing a tight leotard, reveals he used to work in the Hampden Park ticket office, but had since been “removed” from his job and now works as a part-time pig inseminator and a server at a burger bar.

A spoof news story on the letter reports Southern staff are extremely dissatisfied with shifts and working arrangements.

In response to the claims, a fictional character by the name of Sunita Poon – Southern’s head of HR and diversity – says: “We displace staff, introduce half-baked new shifts, increase ticket office queues and sack cleaners because it is the right thing to do and makes even more profit for our shareholders.”

A spokesman from Southern Rail said it was aware of the spoof newsletter.

He said: “It has been sent anonymously, so none of the contents can be verified or taken seriously. We have dismissed it as a prank which is in very poor taste.”