NOT one to pass on a challenge, The Argus reporter and keen sportsman Gareth Davies was tempted by chef Russell Tisbury’s giant burger. The £35 meal is available at Temple Bar in Western Road, Hove from today to raise money for charity. Gareth got a sneak preview of the challenge yesterday.
I’VE let The Argus down, I’ve let the readers down, I’ve let my family down, I’ve let my country down, but above all, I’ve let myself down.
It’s hard to explain just how difficult a challenge chef Russell Tisbury at Temple Bar in Hove has set.
An hour to eat 50oz of beef (the equivalent of more than 12 normal burgers), 1lb of cheese, eight rashers of smoked bacon, eight sliced gherkins, one sliced red onion, homemade tomato chutney and mustard and all served in an enormous brioche bun 30cm in diameter with a side of 1lb of chips.
I tried my best to train up for the challenge for the past week. My eating habits over that time have been woeful.
Triple helpings of cricket teas, two pizzas on Monday, more takeaways than you could shake a stick at and daily late-night gorging all in an effort to expand my stomach.
I didn’t have breakfast yesterday morning so that I was primed for the challenge.
Pointless. I only managed just over half of the beast.
All I’ve managed to do is put on about half a stone in less than a week and become a slightly fatter failure.
The first slice of Russell’s burger was divine.
Perfectly seasoned, melted cheese, smoky bacon with the sweetness from the chutney and the bun making it the perfect burger.
It was all downhill from there.
With the same tastes going round and round in my mouth, the once-beautiful burger had just become a gritty, salty paste.
I tried everything to try and make it easier to eat, mixing it up with some chips, soaking up the spilt juices but nothing was working.
I developed a tactic of half chewing a mouthful and then washing the rest of it down with water, but I was conscious this was just filling my stomach up more.
I never admitted defeat and took one final bite with ten seconds left on the clock before rushing to the toilet to violently vomit.
The hardest part of the whole day was writing this, because every word is serving as a reminder of every writhing bite.
I was rightly laughed back into the office by my colleagues who took great pleasure in my crippling stomach cramps as they demolished the last of the burger in dainty cake-slice size portions.
Good luck to anyone who takes on the challenge and well done to the pub for such an innovative way of raising money for a worthy cause.
What’s for pudding?