With former Phoenix practitioner Annie’s wedding taking place this week at the Hanbury Arms Ballroom in Kemp Town (congratulations, Annie and Paul!); a higher than usual number of patients wanting to talk about their relationship issues in clinic at the moment (perhaps due to Christmas fall-out and money worries); and with St Valentine’s Day coming up, I’ve been thinking about marriage and relationships quite a bit.

Working with my own husband, Paul (he’s the Phoenix Homeopathy practice manager) has its joys and its challenges: on the one hand, it means I get to go to work with my best mate, and it means that my right hand man is someone I can trust completely. On the days when we don’t see eye to eye, though, it can be hard to be together 24/7. After all, even if we’ve annoyed each other at work, we’ll more often than not be spending the evening together, too!

Paul’s been my work colleague now for over 18 months (proving wrong those who said we’d only manage a month or two before I fired him, or he quit) and because we work together, it’s been even more important that before that we do frequent work to keep our home and office relationship sweet. I know this sounds like a cliché, but it really is true that talking helps – though because he’s a bloke, I also need to remember to leave him alone in his metaphorical cave (usually in front of the tv) for a while before I approach him.

It’s second nature to me to have regular supervision as a homeopath, and I was trained in reflective practice, which means I constantly reflect on my own relationship with my practice and with my patients, and daily analyse what went well, what could be improved on, any skills that could be brushed up, and any knowledge that could be developed. So I guess it’s not surprising that when Paul and I realise that we’ve hit an impasse in our relationship, we try to take action.

Usually, sitting down together over a cuppa and honestly looking at what’s really going on for each of us is enough. For example, we often find that emotions that we weren’t even aware of lie beneath some of our more unhelpful or unskilful behaviours. If we can’t work it out alone, we always have the opportunity of talking the problem issue through with our own respective homeopaths (mine’s a woman; Paul’s is a man), and if we ever get really stuck, we book in to see an excellent relationship counsellor together.

Paul and I have turned to the relationship counsellor for help three or four times since we’ve been together, and we don’t see that as implying anything negative about our marriage. In fact, some say that couples who recognise they have a problem, and seek help with it before the situation becomes desperate, have a better chance of staying together.

After all, we take our cars to experts for a regular service, so my view is that if a work or personal relationship needs an overhaul, it’s worth finding someone (whether friend, homeopath or counsellor) who can help us to talk through the problems, and find ways of clearing up any misunderstandings and ensuring that needs are met.

For more information about homeopathy for emotional and relationship problems, visit www.phoenixhomeopathy.com/testimonials.php