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Portslade party-goer jailed for "Smurf" attack (From The Argus)
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Portslade party-goer jailed for "Smurf" attack
7:00am Wednesday 22nd April 2009
A party-goer has been jailed for an attack which he carried out while dressed as a Smurf.
Luke Batchelor was with a friend dressed as Superman when he knocked out three men.
Batchelor, 20, was wearing a Smurf outfit and blue make-up when he laid out two of his victims with a metal baseball bat.
He also drove his car at a third reveller sending him flying over the bonnet and knocking him out.
Batchelor, who is 5ft 4ins tall, was at the head of a gang of ten youths aged 17 to 20 who cornered Rob Claridge and Simon Hornsby in the car park at the Battle of Trafalgar pub in Portslade.
Mr Claridge tried to escape but ran into a bollard and fell over where Batchelor battered him across the back knocking him out as he lay on the ground.
Mr Hornsby was struck on the head and also knocked out as he tried to help his friend, Hove Crown Court was told.
Dale Sullivan, prosecuting, said Keith Kesteven tried to restrain Batchelor who escaped and jogged off.
Mr Sullivan said: “A few minutes later a small red car driven by the defendant arrived at the pub.
“Batchelor was wearing a blue Smurf outfit and had blue make-up on. His passenger was also distinctively dressed and was wearing a Superman outfit.
“The defendant deliberately drove at Mr Kesteven, hitting his legs and knocking him up and over the bonnet, rendering him unconscious.”
Batchelor, of Hamilton Close, Portslade, admitted causing actual bodily harm, dangerous driving and possessing an offensive weapon.
Ivan Krolick, defending, said Bachelor had been at a New Year's Eve party at his mother's house but had gone out to meet friends for a drink.
He said: “He was dressed as a blue Smurf and nobody goes out to battle dressed as a blue Smurf.
“This was not something he intended to do and he got caught up in what was happening.
“There was an earlier incident and it is only when he saw his friends being attacked that he joined in.”
Judge Austin Issard-Davies jailed Batchelor for three years. He was also banned from driving for three years.
He said: “You with friends, and for no reason which has ever been made clear, set about three men one after the other.
“You were using a baseball bat in two of those cases and in the third you used your car as a weapon.
“You set about those three men with such violence that all three adult males were rendered unconscious.”
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Your Say YourArgus
VoiceofUnreason, Uckfield says...
7:20am Wed 22 Apr 09
tinkywinky, Brighton says...
8:01am Wed 22 Apr 09
rudechris, Hove says...
8:33am Wed 22 Apr 09
El Burro, The Hollingbury Aggro Men says...
8:48am Wed 22 Apr 09
What an absolute mug.
A-Dam, Brighton says...
8:53am Wed 22 Apr 09
Ming, Brighton says...
8:54am Wed 22 Apr 09
PB, Steyning says...
8:57am Wed 22 Apr 09
He seems to have all the attributes needed for a Metropolitan Police Territorial Support Group officer.
tinkywinky, Brighton says...
9:18am Wed 22 Apr 09
PB wrote:Lol. Nice one.
I expect there will be a job waiting for him when he gets out. He seems to have all the attributes needed for a Metropolitan Police Territorial Support Group officer.
Hawker101, The Hawk says...
9:20am Wed 22 Apr 09
Osama bin there, Brighton says...
9:25am Wed 22 Apr 09
security word:
role-baby
....genuinely!
Junglist Massive, Slough says...
9:27am Wed 22 Apr 09
kerryfee, brighton says...
9:53am Wed 22 Apr 09
Charismatic Andrew, Patcham says...
10:12am Wed 22 Apr 09
Great defence. I can't beleive he didn't get him off! Was his lawyer doing work experience?
For a start surely ALL smurfs are blue? Or is he suggesting that pink smurfs DO go out to battle?
Cheese Rolls, Shoreham says...
11:04am Wed 22 Apr 09
ShorehamBeachcomber, shoreham says...
12:19pm Wed 22 Apr 09
security word poor decision
leedsnowfan, withdean says...
1:33pm Wed 22 Apr 09
Charismatic Andrew wrote:the lawyers defence is really the quote of the day....where else would you hear that line - classic!
I like his lawyer's defence.... “He was dressed as a blue Smurf and nobody goes out to battle dressed as a blue Smurf". Great defence. I can't beleive he didn't get him off! Was his lawyer doing work experience? For a start surely ALL smurfs are blue? Or is he suggesting that pink smurfs DO go out to battle?
security word: blue-tack (....smurf poo!)
alice1, mileoak says...
2:25pm Wed 22 Apr 09
Three years is not enough and how can he drive if he is inside appeal it should be afer he comes out let him suffer more
Once again well done To your familys i hope you are proud of them i know i am
MzEden, Brighton says...
3:03pm Wed 22 Apr 09
At 5ft 4 though, he wasn't dressed as a smurf. He IS a smurf who usually dresses up as a (sub) human.
snerper, brighton says...
3:17pm Wed 22 Apr 09
PB wrote:He had a job before, him and three other mates sat around a garden pond holding fishing rods! Was he dressed as a smurf? he looks more like a muppet than a smurf!
I expect there will be a job waiting for him when he gets out. He seems to have all the attributes needed for a Metropolitan Police Territorial Support Group officer.
Whatever happens we must not let him reproduce, a vasectomy should be compulsary, I,ve got two house bricks and would willingly do it for free! Before anyone asks 'does it hurt?' the answer is, not if you keep your thumbs out of the way!
the security word was SITE-HOLE,
another miss spelling I think!
Stagger Lee, Rustington says...
3:30pm Wed 22 Apr 09
Old Ale Man, Woodingdean says...
3:33pm Wed 22 Apr 09
Old Ale Man, Woodingdean says...
3:35pm Wed 22 Apr 09
Jim.S, Hove says...
4:12pm Wed 22 Apr 09
Conor, Sussex says...
4:32pm Wed 22 Apr 09
Smurfs do.
mr punch, bantry says...
4:57pm Wed 22 Apr 09
Junglist Massive wrote:Oh how very very true,three years is a joke as we all know that he'll probably be out for the New Years Party! I hop the little darling gets the big blue vein every day!
Yet another face you wouldn't get bored of punching over and over again...
MrMisbehavin, brighton says...
5:12pm Wed 22 Apr 09
As already mentioned, a very obvious case of 'small man syndrome' I'm just surprised he isn't a ginger too. and French. He hasn't got a chip on his shoulder, he's got a whole BAG of king Edwards perkily perched there like a parrot.
critic, Sussex says...
11:55pm Wed 22 Apr 09
Junglist Massive wrote:Like your thinking, direct and to the point !
Yet another face you wouldn't get bored of punching over and over again...
deano18, brighton says...
1:20pm Thu 23 Apr 09
Randsta, says...
2:44pm Thu 23 Apr 09
wwbrighton, says...
6:00pm Thu 23 Apr 09
deano18 wrote:he is a chav.. a proper imbred one. i remember this kid from primary school, was always the little outcast weirdo!
you lot make me laugh you think everyone is a **** chav wen they arent and u get mouthy on the internet saying thats one face i wouldt get tired of hiting haha makes me laugh but they perosn who started it asll was JASON RING witch the police didnt arrest **** wankers!!
joebhoy, hove says...
9:37pm Thu 23 Apr 09
adidas1980, wigan says...
10:25pm Fri 24 Apr 09
No?
Does anybody want to buy a smurfs outfit bnwt bnib worn max 100 times still got tags, got it from my mate?
KarenT, Hove says...
11:15pm Fri 24 Apr 09
El Burro, The Hollingbury Aggro Men says...
5:28pm Sat 25 Apr 09
deano18 wrote:I think you should seriously consider (fink about) taking some English lessons before you ever communicate(rite down) your thoughts (forts) ever again. If you don't think you are a chav, you are very much mistaken. (rong)
you lot make me laugh you think everyone is a **** chav wen they arent and u get mouthy on the internet saying thats one face i wouldt get tired of hiting haha makes me laugh but they perosn who started it asll was JASON RING witch the police didnt arrest **** wankers!!
Fackin' 'el
micky adams, Brighton says...
6:35pm Sat 25 Apr 09
Luke Batchelor
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stan bailey, brighton says...
7:13am Wed 22 Apr 09