Hayley Hughes is, of course, correct in pointing out that children are not always better off with married parents (Letters, January 21).

Nor, indeed, are couples necessarily any happier because they’ve “tied the knot”. But I’m afraid that misses the point.

At its best, marriage is the epitome of best practice for relationships between couples. By design, marriage provides a framework within which the good of a relationship can be enjoyed and problems can be addressed and overcome.

Whatever life throws up – be it good or bad, riches or poverty, sickness or health – marriage means it will be faced together, as a couple committed to one another for life, not as individuals who simply share a home. It is within such a framework that children can find a safe place to grow up, secure in their parents’ relationship, with strong role models and relational examples that help to build confidence and self-respect.

This is not to say that such things cannot be found anywhere else. Of course they can and are. They are not exclusive to marriage – but marriage provides, supports and encourages all these things together in a way that no other arrangement does.

It is not simply living together with an extra “piece of paper”. And that is why marriage has played such a foundational role in virtually every society in history.

But, of course, good marriages do not just happen. Some, as Hayley points out, are sadly places of misery rather than happiness.

For marriage to work, people need to understand what it is about and what it requires of them. Sadly the degree to which marriage has been neglected in our society means increasingly people have no understanding of it.

Consequently, marriages fail, perpetuating the cycle.

That is why it is vitally important that marriage itself be promoted, supported and encouraged. Tax breaks may or may not be the way to do it, but I for one am pleased to hear that at least some politicians realise marriage matters.

Richard Harris
Greenacres, Shoreham