It seems cases of mass hallucination are occurring in Regency Square, Brighton.

Residents claim they can see TV satellite dishes on rooftops.

But they can't, as the dishes do not exist. That's official.

Brighton and Hove City Council has said so.

Concerned about the possibility of dishes sprouting in an attractive conservation area, the local amenity society brought the matter to the attention of the council.

A site visit was made, after which a senior town hall officer wrote back stating: "It is apparent to me no dishes are installed . . . I close my file accordingly."

Meanwhile, residents continue looking up at one particular dish, which is clearly visible from ground level - only it isn't, it can't be.

It must be a figment of their imagination as the council has categorically declared there are no dishes.

Perhaps the object is cunningly disguised bird's nest. Maybe the area contains a disturbingly high number of people with impaired vision.

Then, again, could it be that some vandal has slipped an hallucinatory drug into the local water supply?

As someone who looks daily at the non-existent dish, I am left wondering if I should visit an optician and/or start drinking nothing but bottled water.

In the meantime, the inspector has been nicknamed Horatio after Nelson, who once put a telescope to his blind eye and famously declared: "I see no ships."

-Fred Boulden, Brighton