Technology makes us behave in very strange ways. Take the mobile phone for example.

Though regarded as reserved and stand-offish by the rest of the world, English people with a mobile in their hand think nothing of shouting their secrets to the world and irritating anyone in earshot.

I was delighted to discover this has now given rise to a new and cutting form of humour.

Last week, I was sitting in a large, upmarket Brighton cafe when a mobile started to ring in a pocket near me. Not your average "brrr brrr" ring tone but something "home grown" and irritating.

A mutter of disapproval rang round the elderly tea-drinking clientele.

The phone was actually answered quite quickly but the ensuing silence was cut short by a loud upper-class voice from the other side of the room saying clearly: "Hello, I am in Brighton".

A second or two passed and the voice came again: "I am in a cafe right now."

The phone owner had the device clamped to his head but was visibly uncomfortable.

After a short pause the voice came again "I am fine, how are you?"

People started to take notice and grin appreciatively. Another pause and: "It is still raining."

The audience was now convulsed. Tea-drinking ladies now had faces wreathed in smiles. The offending phone owner was so embarrassed he finished his drink and prepared to leave.

Another pause and "I've got to go now, bye" followed the phone owner out of the cafe to the delight of the other patrons.

I initially put this experience down to an overabundance of alternative comics infesting our city until I experienced a repeat performance on the train to Brighton.

Everyone has had enough of the constant ringing of mobiles. This kind of hilarious humiliation may be just what is needed.

Techno-rudeness is sweeping the country. Perhaps it is time to band form a pressure group - Travellers against Mobile Phones?

Sadly, the best solution is the obvious one. Buy an MP3 player, clap the headphones over your ears and turn the volume up.

You won't hear the mobile phones and YOU get to choose the music.