Sit down to finish piece for Sunday paper - deadline for which was week before Christmas but have been stalling on the basis nobody would have looked at it then.

Decide to check emails first so am not distracted by wondering if I have any emails and can get down to writing piece without interruption.

Seven emails from editor of Sunday paper.

to lizzie-e@ . . . How is the piece going? Will we have it by tomorrow?

to lizzie-e@ . . . Is the piece nearly finished? Need it now . . .

to lizzie-e@ . . . Take it, from your silence, you are not there. Need piece you promised to finish by yesterday now . . .

to lizzie-e@ . . . I expected piece when I returned after Christmas. Where is it?

to lizzie-e@ . . . Have tried several times to reach you on your mobile, which is switched off. Please call me . . .

to lizzie-e@ . . . Next message unlikely to be polite. Where is your piece? Must have it by Tuesday . . .

to christine.jk@ . . . Sorry, been away over Christmas. Hadn't checked email.

Is that Tuesday this week or next?

to lizzie-e@ . . . This Tuesday - get on with it . . .

So I try to get on with it but somehow find myself writing New Year's resolutions, just to get them out of the way, instead.

1. Finish article for Sunday paper which was supposed to be finished the week before Christmas.

2. Try to understand computer better so its malfunctions stop preventing me from finishing work on time and creating costly bills for Macdoctor to find files which, with bit of technical nous, could have found myself.

3. Try to get to know George Clooney lookalike Macdoctor better.

4. Decide whether to adopt resolution 2 or 3 as both incompatible with each other.

5. Finish article now.

6. Try not to let house turn into complete sty, before attempting to clean it.

7. Try not to allow displacement activities (e.g. vacuuming, cleaning kitchen work surfaces etc) to distract from work deadlines.

8. Decide whether to adopt resolution 6 or 7 as both incompatible with each other.

9. Finish article NOW.

10. Try to keep in touch with friends by methods other than email e.g. see them occasionally.

11. Learn to send text messages so can keep in touch with friends better.

12. Decide whether to adopt resolution 10 or 11 as both incompatible with each other.

Am interrupted by call from the relative formerly known as Mother (now Granny), asking if I liked the Mongolian yeti hair sweater she gave me for Christmas or if I need the receipt to change it. Tell her I love it but must get on with work.

13. Be more organised about Christmas and not end up buying everyone gift tokens on Christmas Eve.

Interrupted again by call on mobile from editor of Sunday paper, asking if piece is finished yet. Tell her I didn't realise she meant first thing on Tuesday morning and was just finishing it, as we spoke.

14. FINISH ARTICLE NOW.

I close my resolution file and create a new one, in which to start article in question.

Need coffee to get brain into gear. Cafetiere covered in grease, as is rest of work-surface in kitchen. Will just clean it, before getting down to work . . .