When Dani Gibbs was 17, her mother asked her if she had a boyfriend.

Determined not to hide her sexuality any longer, Dani said she did not have a boyfriend because she was a lesbian.

While such honesty brings some families closer together, for Dani the consequences of coming out were harsh. She lost contact with her mother for more than four years.

Meanwhile, desperate for people to recognise her real identity, Dani cut her hair, started dressing like a man and went to work on a building site.

Now 36, Dani is more relaxed about her sexuality. She is back in contact with her mother and, after moving from Bristol two years ago, is enjoying being part of the large gay community in Brighton and Hove.

She said: "A woman seduced me when I was 17 and I kind of was out from then.

"I got very mixed reactions. Men tended to be fine with me but some females had a problem with it.

"With my mum, I came out in a very direct way and it probably wasn't the best way to go about it. It took time for her to get used to it but we're great now.

"For a while, I was putting myself in people's faces but then I changed and went back to being a bit more girly.

"Now I'm not so easily labelled. If people ask, I won't deny but I would rather wait for people to get to know me as Dani first before I tell them I'm gay."

Ian Gowers decided to come out when he was 18. He contacted the Lesbian and Gay Switchboard and went to a gay pub.

He said: "Turning up at the pub was a bit of an emotional experience. I went a few times but it was like a roller coaster. I would enjoy it but the next day would be wracked with guilt, thinking about my parents and wondering if they knew.

"My sister accidentally outed me to my parents when she made a joke and I didn't react in the right way. It didn't go down very well.

"Sometimes I would come down the stairs and find them crying. There were quite a few arguments. My dad wanted to throw me out but my mum protected me.

"She was an avid Daily Mail reader and read that counselling could make you straight. It was only after she was told the only thing that could make me straight was if I was dead that she went off that idea.

"It took my parents about two years to accept it. But now it's a complete turn-about. When I split up with my last boyfriend, my mother was really upset and was telling me to phone him up. I was going, 'no, I don't want to'."

Ian runs the Dizzy youth project for the Brighton Lesbian and Gay Switchboard.

He said the open gay scene in Brighton and Hove could make coming out more difficult for young people from the city.

He said: "If you go to Revenge or to certain pubs, everyone knows where you're going. If you're not so confident, that can be daunting because you have to go for all or nothing.

"The average age of gays and lesbians in Brighton is 37. If you are just 18, you can find yourself a minority in a minority."

Allsorts Youth Project provides support for under-25s who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or unsure of their sexuality.

Project worker Debbie Gold says most people find coming out to be a positive experience but for others it can still be fraught with difficulty.

She said: "Coming out is something gay people have to do repeatedly throughout their lives. Every time they meet a new person, start a new job, new school or university, they have to come out all over again.

"The problem is people make assumptions about your sexuality. They assume you are straight and it's up to you to point out you're not.

"It kind of forces you to come out. What we need is a society that is more open to people as individuals."

The experiences of young gay people in Brighton and Hove vary widely.

Ms Gold said: "Some will find their families and friends are incredibly supportive. It can even bring them closer because there is a new honesty in the relationship.

"It is a wonderful feeling to have that weight lifted off your shoulders and be honest and open with people.

"For others, the experience of coming out can be disastrous and they will be forced to leave home.

"Brighton and Hove has a relatively high number of people who are homeless and I would say a significant proportion of those are gay. The issue of their sexuality is part of the reason they are in that situation. Many are not in touch with their own parents."

Rose Hall is an advocacy worker with The Lesbian and Gay Advocacy Project run by Brighton Mind.

She works with those who have experienced the down side of being out in Brighton and Hove.

She said: "People come down here thinking it's going to be a wonderful all embracing community and yes, there's a large commercial scene. But some don't find it that welcoming."

Isolation at work is a major issue for many. She said: "People feel they can't build close friendships with their colleagues because they are frightened to expose themselves.

"The homophobic jokes in the office don't make them feel safe and the risk of losing their job is very real.

"That kind of pressure can lead to depression."

A recent survey revealed more than 50 per cent of gay people in Brighton and Hove had suffered from depression, double the figure for the heterosexual community nationwide.

Paul Martin of Brighton and Hove's Diversity Alliance, which campaigns against homophobic bullying in schools, said: "Being called gay in school is still one of the strongest insults that can be made.

"Teenagers coping with adolescence have the added concern of 'will my parents accept me, what will my friends think, will I get physically bullied?'

"Some young people sail through but for others it is still a concern."

Support is available from Brighton Lesbian and Gay Switchboard on 01273 204050 between 5pm and 11pm, The Lesbian and Gay Advocacy Project at Mind on 01273 739847 and All Sorts Youth Project on 01273 721211.