Daughter, dog Sam and I are all off "up North" for Easter as I have managed to wangle a whole week off work.

And, with the weekend and bank holidays at either side, this means I can have a proper break Am leaving 'im indoors here with a list of jobs to do, so hopefully he will make himself useful while we're away and we will come back to an improved house.

Daughter has been getting ready by trying to instill six months' worth of dog training into two days. The dog has also been bathed and brushed so he smells and looks cute (his usual pong is eau de recently-rolled-in- dead-seagull). His collar has been polished, his nails have been clipped, he has a new lead with no teethmarks in it and he has been taught to shake paws when given a biscuit.

She thinks all this will prove she is a more superior dog owner than my brother Johnnie, who has Max, her previous canine favourite. I, however, think the dog will probably eat my mother's sofa within five minutes of arrival.

Haven't been up to Mum's since last year, as we had to cancel the last planned trip because daughter was ill, so I am looking forward to seeing everyone again. In particular one of my brothers, Jamie, who I have not seen for more than three years now.

Jamie is very intrepid and spends much of his spare time either taking disadvantaged groups of children rock climbing or climbing really, really big mountains all on his own.

He's off to Bolivia this summer so I am glad I will see him before he goes.

Jamie is the only one of the six of us who hasn't provided a grandchild yet, which is why he can afford to do things like this.