As parents of a 13-year-old boy with Aspergers, who was diagnosed aged seven, we read your article about 16-year-old Ricky and his family with a mixture of strong emotions (The Argus, July 11).

Ricky's autistic condition was undiagnosed for the first 14 years of his life so our hearts go out to him and his family and start to break at the first thought of those countless others undiagnosed and their families.

We are only too well aware of the problems - the most painful and acute being, for us, his inability to make friends and be a friend and his lack of an innately-developed moral sense.

"Social skills training" - we hate that inadequate term - is therefore critical but it has to be taught and learned like facts.

It is not naturally and intuitively "known".

An Asperger child (or adult), usually male, is "wired-up" in a different way from others, with a different take on life, and often highly intelligent academically and/or musically (confusingly called "high-functioning/mild autism").

We can assure you there is nothing "mild" about it. God knows how much more difficult it must be for those suffering from, and coping with, the "not-so-mild" autism.

If you get "it" wrong as a parent, grand-parent, teacher or whatever, you'll know.

If you get "it" right, you'll also know but it won't be that often and then only by chance, especially if undiagnosed and/or unsupported.

But, despite the problems, there are the wondrously unexpected and disarming joys - the boundless enthusiasm, the tremendous intelligence, and so many other blessings.

He enriches our lives beyond belief. Life is never dull and we do so love him.

So please, if you are to judge, do be careful and, if you can, try to understand.

-Name and address supplied