Paint it white

First, get a white van, then paint it to look like a Southern Water van. This will guarantee immediate and total immunity from persecution.

You can park for days on end on double yellows, right outside your house.

You can park half on the double lines and half on the pavement, blocking private drives, entrances and forecourts. The wardens will all ignore you.

Another Southern Water van driver parks on double yellow lines outside his house for days on end but has never been persecuted.

When the double yellows outside his house are occupied by a vehicle (which has already been ticketed), he just parks on the double yellows across our works forecourt, blocking our access, yet is totally ignored by the wardens.

Simple, isn't it? Plumbers, builders, now you know. Let's all paint our vans to match Southern Water and we won't need to bother with parking waivers or any other such trivial pursuit.

-R Bray, Hadlow Way, Lancing