After the initial waves of shock, disbelief and hope for a happy ending, Mandy Braden has been forced to accept that her son Dan will never come home.

The nightmare began to unfold for Mandy with a telephone call on Sunday morning.

Her son's girlfriend, Jun Hirst, who lived with Dan in Taiwan, phoned to say he was missing after the blast.

Dan was in Sari's night club in Bali with members of his rugby team, the Taipei Baboons, when the bomb went off killing an estimated 183 people.

According to accounts from his surviving team-mates, Dan was in typical party spirits on Saturday night and was last seen dancing in the middle of the club.

Mrs Braden brushed away tears as she said: "He had been playing rugby that day and had a gash to his head. He had to have ten stitches and had a big bandage wrapped round it.

"He was dancing in his bright pink Thai trousers despite having cut his head. He always would carry on until the end. Dan always was the life and soul of the party."

At first Mrs Braden refused to give up hope that he was alive but at the back of her mind she knew if that was the case he would have rung.

She said: "While he was living in Taiwan last year there were several earthquakes and he would always ring afterwards to say he was all right. That's why we knew this time that he had died."

Mrs Braden and her daughter, Dan's sister, Claire, accepted the grim fate on Tuesday.

Dan's father, Alex, director of Brighton-based Yachting Partners International, flew to Bali on Sunday night. He scoured every hospital inspecting photographs of victims' bodies but there was no evidence of their son.

Mrs Braden, of Kensington Place, Brighton, said: "It's such a waste. It's what every parent dreads.

"It's just unbelievable that human beings can do such dreadful things to innocent people. I don't think I can begin to understand what they were thinking."

With the support of friends and family, she is trying to cope by thinking of happier times. One of her fondest recollections is of Dan meeting the Queen when he was five.

She said: "The Queen came to town and we were waiting to see her but she was very late. Dan was in the front row when she arrived and he told her she was late. She laughed and apologised. That was typical of him."

Since the blast, Mrs Braden has been in regular contact with Jun. The couple met when they were at university in Edinburgh and had been together for two-and-a-half years.

Jun moved to Taiwan to be with Dan in January, because his work as a marketing manager for Diageo, a drinks company, had taken him there.

Mrs Braden, 52, said: "They were happy together. Now Jun is absolutely devastated. She didn't go on the trip because it was a rugby tour and it was a boy's thing. I have spoken to her lots since it happened and it helps because she loved him and I loved him."

Dan's trip to Bali had been an end-of-season tour and he had been looking forward to the visit for weeks.

His sister, Claire, 24, said: "The last time I spoke to him was last week and he couldn't wait to go to Bali. We were arranging a skiing trip together for the New Year and he said he would ring when he got back to make the final arrangements."

Dan first played rugby when he was eight at Middle Street School, Brighton and although he wasn't a star, he played throughout his university years and on moving to Taiwan, joined the Taipei Baboons.

During his years at Brighton College he was an all-round academic and sports fan. He graduated with good A-levels before doing a masters degree in Mandarin Chinese.

He was one of the youngest marketing managers at Diageo but didn't let that stop him enjoying himself.

His mother explained: "He lived life to the full. He was incredibly ambitious with a lot to live for. He had a tremendous sense of fun and humour.

"I last spoke to him a couple of weeks ago and he said he was stressed but was looking forward to coming home for Christmas and seeing my new house."

Claire added: "He was very popular and had a solid circle of friends in Brighton. Some of them have contacted us since and said he made them laugh every single day they knew him.

"Mum and dad were so proud of him being a Chinese scholar. He would go into Chinese restaurants over here and shock the waiters by speaking to them in their own language. They never expected it and said his Chinese was better than their English.

"Dad wants something positive to come out of this because there's been so much negativity. We want to celebrate his life, when we know what has happened to his body."