Something rather nasty happened to me while I was hanging out the washing the other day.

As I stretched up to peg a sheet on the line I felt an object touch the base of my neck and then slip down inside my top.

I screamed and yanked off my clothing and out fell a snail, which made me scream even more.

Most people aren't frightened of snails. After all, they don't bite, they don't have hairy legs and the baby ones can even look quite cute. But recently I have developed an intense fear and hatred of them and I'm sure they have got it in for me.

This one must have leapt at me from the overhanging branches of our buddleia tree. I don't believe it was an accident.

The problems started a few weeks ago when my efforts to create my own flower-filled Eden were devastated by the multitude of snails and slugs that live in our garden.

Within a weekend, the delphiniums had disappeared, the leaves of the hollyhocks were decimated and my petunias were little more than stalks.

In frustration I scattered little blue pellets of poison around the few remaining bedding plants and in my hanging baskets. Normally I wouldn't hurt a flea but at the time I felt no guilt about murdering these ghastly gastropods.

Of course, the aftermath was pretty gory - dozens of dead and dying slugs and snails on the slimy battlefield. I scooped them into an old flower pot, transferred them to a plastic bag and put them in the dustbin.

Unfortunately, our four-year-old daughter witnessed my actions and was keen to carry out a follow-up massacre. "Kill the slugs, kill the slugs," she chanted bloodthirstily. "Let's put down some more poison."

"No, it's too awful," I said. "And it's dangerous to little children so don't go near it."

So what else could I do to save my garden? I considered a slug and snail patrol, which would involve gathering up the live beasts and setting them free on the Downs.

Some neighbours of mine do this, which I think is admirable. But I really couldn't bring myself to get near the creatures, let alone put them in the car and take them for a drive.

A friend suggested laying beer traps, pointing out that at least they would die happy. But there were two problems with this.

Firstly, I would have still have to empty the receptacles of drowned bodies. Secondly, my husband objected, saying it was sacrilege to give "the drink of gods" to the undeserving.

Another option, which has been partially successful, has been to put copper tape around some of my plant pots.

Apparently this give a slight electric shock to slithering intruders but doesn't kill them. It has saved what was left of the potted plants but it it's not a solution for my barren borders.

I've tried finding plants that slugs and snails don't like but the little blighters seem keen to nibble everything.

Every time I voice my frustration to other gardeners, they sigh sympathetically and then deliver frightening statistics about each garden having about 35,000 slugs and snails, each of whom devour several times their own bodyweight in a day and can live up to ten years (which would make them ideal pets in other circumstances).

The problem seems insurmountable. I may need therapy.