I have received an e-mail, apparently from the ICC, regarding a special new set of cricket regulations that will be put in place for the remainder of the Ashes Tests.

Supposedly written in conjunction with a certain James Miller, aged nine, they are a set of proposals designed to even up the contest somewhat. You may recognise and remember some of them from your childhood days.

The first decree is that England should have an 'automatic wicketkeeper'.

Any edge behind the stumps and the batsman is automatically out. This would also have the advantage of freeing up Alec Stewart to field.

Another man defending the boundary was sorely missed at Edgbaston. Allegedly England had asked for automatic slips too, but the ICC refused, they had to draw the line somewhere!

The next change is to bring in the 'tip and run' rule when the Australians are batting. To go with this, Michael Slater, instead of using his bat, "will be obliged to use his arm with a sweater wrapped around it".

There will be restrictions to the way Adam Gilchrist bats too. He will be under the six and out rule and, following complaints from English fielders, will have to fetch the ball himself if he hits it over the road. Further nullifying the Aussies batting will be a one hand one bounce catch rule for the English fielders.

When England bat, the usual can't be out first ball rule was thought to tip the balance just too far in England's favour so it has been stated that Craig White can't get out for a duck.

In addition the England all-rounder is allowed to wrap electric tape around the ball's seam when bowling in the second innings. Furthermore, no English batsman will be given out lbw unless it is really, really obvious.

Another regulation stipulates that England's 11th batsman may continue to bat after the fall of the tenth wicket. However, Steve Waugh is allegedly appealing against this one unless his fielders are allowed to throw the stumps down at either end.

A final directive states that Shane Warne must bowl under arm to England's tail-enders, an order that Shane Warne apparently thought was fair enough.

The beauty of e-mail, some people would say, is that you can send anonymous messages to people around the world in a matter of seconds.

I'd put a fair bit of money that this spoof e-mail originated from a rather large antipodean land mass beginning with the letter A.

Apart from the ritual humiliation of Craig White who was brought up and educated under a hot Victorian sun but 'deserted to the country of his birth', the thing that really gave it away was the last line that stated that despite all this new legislation Australia remain firm favourites to win the Ashes, "paying $1.22, while an English win is currently paying $130".

All pretty harmless stuff which us Brits will take with a good old stiff upper lip. It's a well known fact that the English are excellent at being able to laugh at themselves. Wouldn't it be lovely just for a change to be able to have the last laugh, what are the odds of that happening though?