Contrary to public opinion, the walking policeman is not an extinct species - one was seen in Lancing last week.

The younger generation (under-30s) obviously did not recognise the uniform - perhaps they thought it was fancy dress - so continued to ride their bicycles on the pavement in their usual reckless manner.

Some of the older folk were clearly traumatised and will no doubt need to consult a "seeing policeman walking" counsellor before venturing out again.

Should this prove to be an annual event, I will endeavour to keep you informed, subject to not receiving a visit from a "hit squad" for "blowing the gaff" on what is obviously one of Jack Straw's secret initiatives to combat crime.

Stay alert. You too could witness a similar phenomenon but don't hold your breath.

Happy Easter to you all.

PS. Young readers should consult any pensioner for a definition of technical terms used above.

PPS. Should you divulge my identity, bearing in mind the implications (many years ago I signed the Official Secrets Act), I shall be forced to move and change my name to "Scarlet Pimpernel".

-C E W, Lancing