I am opposed to telesales, especially from market researchers and replacement window firms who happen to be in my area.

I went ex-directory to avoid them but still get calls from essential services who have to have my telephone number.

It drives me mad - gas firms trying to sell me electricity and insurance, electricity firms trying to sell me gas and insurance and banks trying to sell me insurance against gas and electricity firms. Here is an example from lunchtime yesterday.

Girl on telephone: "Can I speak to Mr Allam?"

Me: "This is he."

Girl: "Oh, hello Mr Allaaaam. This is Nikki from the water company. I wonder if you can spare me a few minutes of your time?"

Me: "Awfully sorry but the wife is lying on the living room carpet with her throat cut and I have only two minutes to get rid of the knife before the police come."

Girl: "Oh." (Pregnant pause.) "When would be a convenient time for me to call back?"

I gave in. It was a courtesy call and she was nice.

-R J Allam, Weald Close, Hurstpierpoint