Here's a tip for hard-up housewives. Save pounds this Christmas by simply renouncing Christianity and celebrating the winter solstice the traditional pagan way.

Your kids will love fasting all day and dancing naked round a bonfire until the early hours. With all that cash you save, you will be able to buy that life-size inflatable boyfriend you've been promising yourself!

-J.C. Courtney, j.c.courtney.green1@tinyworld.co.uk