The mother clutched her tiny baby tight in her arms and felt his last breath before he died.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she kissed her five-week-old son goodbye. She had spent three agonising days before finally allowing doctors to switch off the baby's life-support system. She had waited and waited, hoping and praying for the miracle recovery that never came.

The trauma was three years ago, but she still feels her child nestling on her breast and can smell his infant's scent. The hurt and guilt is just as painful today. The mother, tears welling up in her eyes, said she could not reconcile the fact that it was she who decided to terminate her own baby's life, even though there was no hope.

She cried as she said: "I thought what I was doing was wrong. I thought I had killed him. They said there was no chance and even if he did pull through, he would have been in very poor condition. But I would have still loved him...I wouldn't have cared what he was like."

Her son and two other babies died after being in the care of the child's aunt and uncle who today were due at Lewes Crown Court to be sentenced for five counts of wilful neglect of five of their children over a five-year period. The same couple were last summer cleared of killing their nephew and two of their own babies.

The judge ruled there was no evidence to say if the children had been murdered and which of the parents, if either, had committed the deeds. The court heard expert testimony how all three babies had probably been smothered. The woman of the house said her husband had put pillows over their faces because they were crying and had "deserved it".

The case has caused a public outcry and there are calls for a public inquiry and a change in the law. The 31-year-old mother whose baby died after being in the care of his uncle and aunt is backing both campaigns.

She said: "I want something done. It is not fair on those three babies. They should have been done for neglect earlier, then my baby might still be alive

today."

She still cannot bring herself to look at anyone else's baby and is undergoing bereavement counselling. The hurt in her goes back many years. She was raped by her brother when she was six, a crime he was also being sentenced for today. The assault happened 20 years earlier but she only told police for the first time when officers spoke to her over her baby's death.

She was angry and suspicious over the circumstances surrounding her child's death. Her boy was born seven weeks premature by Caesarean section in February 1997 at the Royal Sussex County Hospital, Brighton.

He weighed just 4lb at birth, but had become a healthy baby until the day she left him with her 38-year-old brother and his common-law wife at their Brighton home. She was attending a court hearing concerning care proceedings over her other children. She insists her former partner was to blame for the problems and she is today fighting to have her children returned to her.

She felt safe leaving her baby son with her brother and said even her social worker had approved of the arrangement. She said: "If you can't trust family, who can you trust?"

But while in court in Hove, she received a phone call that her son had been taken ill. She returned to find the baby in her brother's arms. The boy looked grey and his lips were blue: "He was in a bad way. I will never forget that day and I still have nightmares about it."

The mother drove him at speed to the Royal Alexandra Children's Hospital, Brighton, and he was later transferred to Guy's Hospital in London where he died. Only days later, her brother and his wife asked if they could have her son's pram, cot, clothes and nappies. She refused.

She has kept everything of her son's. She opened a photograph album showing a lock of his hair and hand and foot prints of their son taken by hospital staff. There are pictures of her son soon after his happy arrival into the world, but, as she turned the pages, the pictures become disturbing.

They show the baby when he was critically ill, his face purple and swollen, and of him lying in a tiny, white coffin. He was dressed in a new light-blue baby suit and alongside were soft toys, a bunny and a toy dog. Both were buried with him.

The album contains a christening certificate signed by the then Vicar of Brighton, Canon Dominic Walker ,who performed the ceremony by special request prior to the baby's death.

The mother and her 38-year-old partner, the baby's stepfather, have kept the child's blankets, clothes and his bottles. She said: "We have a bag of toys that he never got a chance to play with. He was so special. He fought so much and so hard for life. They regularly visit his grave.

The stepfather said: "We tell him we love him and miss him and what has happened in court. We tell him he can rest a little easier now the couple have been convicted of neglect."

A poem they wrote has been inscribed on his headstone: "Our miracle baby, you fought to the end. Rest in peace, our love we send. Goodbye, farewell to you our son. You'll always be our number one. Love, your mummy and daddy."

The mother remembers little of the day of the funeral service. Music played included Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You.

She said: "That whole day was just a blur to me, but today won't be. I will be in court when they are sentenced. I was scared of my brother from when I was a young girl, but not any more, not now my baby is dead. I hope both of them go to hell."

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.