Oh dear. I was so proud that our daughter Eve could sing Baa Baa Black Sheep all the way through. Now, having learned that the rhyme has been banned by an education authority for its racist undertones, I'm trying to hush her up.

It seems the song originates from colonial days when slaves were told to collect three bags of wool - although there is also conflicting evidence that it dates from pre-slavery days and refers to a protest against a wool tax.

It has also been pointed out that the word "black" has negative connotations, ie Black Wednesday, Black Monday, blackballed, black sheep of the family, in the black (sorry, that last example was a mistake, unless you're a high-interest charging money lender), which can make children feel confused and embarrassed about their identity.

Whatever the rhyme's true origin, the fact that it's considered politically incorrect will soon be in the public conscience and there will be no more Baa Baas at bye-bye time anywhere in the land.

In light of this, I have been examining the rest of Eve's repertoire to see what other harmful messages she might be absorbing from traditional nursery rhymes.

She's rather fond of Mary Mary, Quite Contrary, which I fear will be thrown out by feminists for gender stereotyping and by the gardening fraternity for all that nonsense about cultivating silver bells and cockle shells.

And I've never been too sure about her other favourite, See Saw Margery Daw, in which poor Johnny is shockingly underpaid because he's a bit slow.

I'm also not happy about the unresolved dispute between Polly, who put the kettle on, and Suki, who took it off again before they'd all had tea. What was really going on there? Why did they all have to go away? It seems to be missing a moral point.

The Grand Old Duke of York is a poor example of leadership if all he could do was march his 10,000 men up and down hills, while Humpty Dumpty's tragic demise is far too disturbing for young minds.

Rock-a-Bye Baby, which is about an infant carelessly left in a tree top, raises the issue of parental neglect. As does the tale of Jack and Jill, who obviously shouldn't have been trusted to go up the hill to fetch a pail of water by themselves.

The least said about This Old Man and his nick nack paddiwacks, the better, I think.

So what are we left with? I cannot find anything harmful in Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, unless the word "little" becomes outlawed for being offensive towards things of below-standard size.

And you have to admire Incy Wincy Spider, who shows amazing fortitude and tenacity for climbing the water spout, even though he knows he'll be washed away again.

Ah, but we shouldn't be fooled into believing all spiders are to be revered. Remember what happened to Little Miss Muffet.

Perhaps it would be best to wean Eve off all nursery rhymes now and get her listening to Steps, Spice Girls, Westlife and all the other teeny bands. Don't tell me their lyrics can warp young minds, too.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.