When is a wood not a wood ?

Answer - when it is disguising a 13-metre phone mast concealed in an imitation conifer tree.

This is what will be built in land off Coldean Lane if two mobile phone companies are successful in their application for planning permission for this artificial addition to our countryside.

This "crafty conifer" is to be sited within metres of the local school's playing fields and a residential area.

What will be the next ploy in concealing the installation of these monstrosities?

-Allyson Eyre, Coldean