For the past few weeks, the estimable Kermode & Mayo’s Film Review (BBC Radio Five Live, Fridays 2-4pm) has been inviting suggestions for its Wittertainment Cinema Code Of Conduct. Film lovers who are at their wits’ end because of the braindead behaviour of a section of cinemagoers who talk loudly, kick the chair in front of them, chat on their mobile or constantly ask their slightly brighter companion to explain the plot are registering their gripes at the show’s website.

The most commonly aired grievances will be collected together into a code that cinemas and punters can volunteer to sign up for, hopefully making the trip to the flicks a more pleasurable experience for all concerned. So if you want to register your pet hate (or if you’re one of the moronic minority and you’d like an insight into just how much the rest of humanity despise you), click here

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Readers who submit articles must agree to our terms of use. The content is the sole responsibility of the contributor and is unmoderated. But we will react if anything that breaks the rules comes to our attention. If you wish to complain about this article, contact us here