As someone who rather boringly follows budget airlines and their baggage fees quite closely, I have to say that I agree with my friend, Victoria, who believes we’re being unfairly charged for the weight we take on board. She suggests that it’s hypocritical for the carriers to concern themselves with a passenger’s suitcase weighing, say, 2kg more than the allotted 20kg allowance when the passengers vary so much in weight themselves.

According to my friend, we should pay according to our Body Mass Index (BMI), as that’s a much fairer way of covering the cost of fuel and implementing accurate carbon offsetting exercises. That sounds reasonable to me. Why on earth should my little boys aged three and five, who weigh about 18 and 23kg respectively, be charged the same for carriage as – for example – a person who weighs 60kg? It just isn’t “fair”.

On a recent flight from Gatwick Airport, I was the unpopular passenger who had somehow managed to stuff eight kilos excess into my two cases. The airport check-in staff initially wanted to charge me £200, then £80 to carry the bulging baggage. Half an hour and a discarded ham sandwich and cardboard box later, I paid £30 excess and made my way through to security. I felt like (but resisted the urge towards) suggesting that the heavier passengers should be made to pay £10 a kilo extra as well, instead of picking on those who haven’t bought luggage scales!

Is it just I who has boarded a plane, only to find that a larger passenger is occupying their own seat and part of my seat as well? Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not “fattist” (just as I’m not anything-ist in life, really) but I do object to paying full fare for a seat that someone else is partially occupying, and then having the weight and exact dimensions of my cabin baggage fussed about as well. In this scenario, the “BMI” charging model really does make the most sense.

Instead of the dreaded luggage scale area at check-in, perhaps airports could install large people scales to weigh passengers and apply a sliding scale of adjustments to their fares. And, instead of those pesky luggage cages, designed to ensure that a cabin bag conforms to the 25x4x55cm (or similar) size limit, we could have people cages designed to measure body mass. Ryanair, which currently charges a £70 penalty fee for “bag being too big”, could make a fortune charging people who go over a certain weight and size limit, or for neglecting to print a correct statement of their BMI before entering the airport. It would surely be more practical than Michael O’Leary’s idea of charging people to stand up on flights!

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