THE railways are in chaos, the workers are revolting, the Government wants to build high speed trains, no need for those, I have the perfect solution.

What we need is double decker train carriages and to use the existing rail tracks. Ridiculous, you may say, how are they going to travel under the many tunnels? Easy, you slope the track down one side and up the other.

This has an added benefit, no need to to pay for expensive roller coaster rides at the fairgrounds and all the passengers can raise their arms in the air and shout Weeeeeee as they go down one side and up the other. At least they will disembark happy.

In past Argus letters I suggested that they put concrete under the West Pier, using the iron stanchions to reinforce it. It is a pity they did not, it would be still be here now, and would have lasted as long as Stonehenge. Activate and concrete the Palace Pier now, before it’s too late, with an added underwater sea life observation tunnel.

I concede that my plan for fitting ejector seats for OAPs like myself at Churchill Square was not good, it was pointed out as too dangerous with high flying OAPs hitting pedestrians.

Another idea I am working on is to put numbers on the large Ferris Wheel and use it for a roulette gamble, probably make more money for the council than the parking meters. Any other bright ideas out there, let’s have a laugh, too much gloom and doom at present.

Ernie Barnes

Fircroft Avenue

Lancing